Because that's the kinda girl I am

Feng shui is a hard art to master.

My husband just rearranged my living room for the 2nd time in a month...if even that much. I think we rearranged it right before Thanksgiving =]

But he did it willingly because he loves me and I made him...because...well...revert to the title.

So I've thought about starting "Project 365" at the beginning of 2011. Post a picture everyday and write a post. That'll be right after my exercising and therapy sessions for cynicism and jadism.(Jadism is not a word by the way)

I don't know if I'm happy about the living room now even. I think I've outgrown an apartment. At least this ridiculously laid out one. If I could knock out a couple walls it wouldn't be so bad. I need to post some pictures once I get it decorated for Christmas I will.

This is a very short post but I am going to spend time with my husband decorating and watching Christmas movies. Maybe settle in with some hot chocolate. Sounds like a plan.

I'll be back real soon.

But not tonight. So don't wait around...

As it has been forever...

I figured it was past due for a post even though I don't have deadlines like some of you do.

That is just so restricting. In all honestly this is the 3rd post I have started in the past couple of weeks. Well 4th if you count the one I started on vacation but I don't actually remember posting that one. But I know I posted a couple weeks ago. I just don't know what to blog about.

So right now we are smack in the middle of two major US holidays. Holidays were not created for people in the military. My husband worked 80 hours in 5 days starting with Thanksgiving when he was supposed to be home entertaining all the people I didn't know. Which was 8 of 10 people at my house. Thanksgiving = awkward. I only saw my husband 10 hours in almost week. He was back at work yesterday after only 1 day off.

If I've never mentioned it before I'll mention it now. I hate being alone all the time. I mean when I lived at home there was always someone around but now I spend all day with a napping dog, Jessica Fletcher and the residents of Cabot Cove, and the ominous noises outside my windows that I probably make up half the time.

Ominous might a little strong of an adjective but you can't take that from me right now.

But about the holidays...I spent four days cooking for Thanksgiving and I'm going to have to spend all 25 days preparing for Christmas seeing as I've kind of been a Scrooge. I mean I put the tree up but I have definitely been procrastinating on decorating it.

It's really hard for me not to be a scrooge. I've sat at home every holiday and birthday (his and mine), alone. That's not enjoyable and other people enjoy their time but I don't get to. Which is what upsets me. When people tell me that I shouldn't be so gloomy or I should be glad that he comes home every night. Do they not understand that when he comes home it's 5 in the morning and we got to bed and sleep for 8-10 hours and then we get up and he has to be at work at 3pm. I am happy that he isn't deployed, trust me,I'm thrilled but it's hard to find delight in that fact when he is 15 mins down the road staring at a wall. No exaggeration there. Maybe a generalized one. Sometimes....he stares at water. Woo

So my New Year's resolution is going to be to get 30 minutes of serious movement in a day and to not be so cynical and jaded. But I don't even have confidence that I can achieve the latter.

I wish I had something funny and witty to say but in all honestly other people fuel my ability to be witty. Usually. They are my muse.

No.

Stupidity is my muse.

This is the end.

Inner Turmoil

I find emotions hard to nail down right now. I mean I can tell you what emotions I'm feeling but I couldn't nail down which one I feel stronger. Like the feeling to be happy for someone or angry at their luck. I am happy for this person but I'm also upset because they are getting what I busted my butt to get just to have it slip away from me all the while they are effortlessly being granted every wish. I'm not comparing my wishes tho their wishes either. Like I want a new car and they want a new dress. No I mean equal wishes. A car for a car. A pair of shoes for a pair of shoes. I think I just got a really freakin lazy fairy godmother. I would ask to trade it in but I see it's pointless now. Is it horrible that I feel that way? ...No because I don't feel that way. I see it that way but my feelings are hurt and they don't want to even accommodate the thought that this is it and it's all I'm ever going to get. So if you read this, don't pray that I get what I want I'm going after that myself, pray that I find an inner peace and happiness that I can pull to the surface and use to be the person I need to be in these situations. 

Because being "fair" is only a skin tone now.

I would say I haven't blogged because I haven't had time. But we all know that would be a lie.

Why is it that when you get stuff put together something comes along and messes it up? I don't really need the question answered. I already know the answer. It's not a question I like answering.

More like it's not the question I mind answering...it's the answer I know is right and I would be more mature to answer it honestly. But being mature and adult like is so...unfair sometimes.

Like when you go on vacation and you either don't have a good time or you have a fabulous time and then when you get home things with work and bills and the house are messed up to the nth power.

Vacation- that was a time I was both looking forward to and at the same time not. Spastic Sarcastic is an appropriate title most of the time. I am very sarcastic and often spastic with my sarcasm. I also am not one to hold my tongue. If I think someone needs to hear something I'm going to be the one to tell them. I've realized over the years that it isn't always the best idea so I've tried harder to hold my tongue. Most of the time it works. Other times I just trick my brain by telling Person B what I would really like to tell Person A and then after I say it all and step back I realize it was better that I didn't say it to Person A in the first place. Although I still think they need to hear it.

Most people don't care about your opinion. Like they say "80% of people don't care about your problems and the other 20% are just glad you have them"

I've noticed these past few months that have of my life mottos are very pessimistic.

"If it wasn't this, it would be something else."
It's fabulous outlook to have on life....don't you think?

For instance, right now I'm wide awake on two hours of sleep after I sat up until 5 in the morning to go to bed with my husband and he is laying in bed sleeping soundly and I've been up for 4 hours watching House!

Don't get me wrong I love House. I would also rather be insomniatic than left awake with severe back pain or an ear infection or stomach pains that run me to the bathroom every hour.

I also don't understand why I have a whole six foot couch and my dog decided he has to sit on the very same cushion I am sitting on.

Why do I have a queen size bed and does my dog still try to sleep between my legs or constantly pressed up against me. I know for a fact I'm not the warmest one in the bed and I don't even lay still the longest.

He is so weird!

But he's so cute!

Well I have a list of things to do....including make a list. at the top of it is rudely awaken my husband because Misery loves company and he's officially slept longer than me.

Hello? Is There Anybody In There?

Just smile if you can hear me
Ok good.

I see that I haven't posted in awhile. But an uneventful life makes for an uneventful blog.
I can't get my flash to work so I haven't been taking as many pictures. 

I did however make these pleasing to the eye and the palette strawberry shortcakes.
Don't those just look so yummy? My OCD makes them that way...that and the strawberries were perfectly ripe!

Am I right?

I don't take a lot of pictures because I don't have subjects really. I have a dog and you can only take so many pictures of him. I will however admit that he gets cuter each time I snap one though.

I did do a photoshoot with my sisters when  was back home. Which was a blast! I got some good shots too.
You want me to share them with you?

I don't know my schedule is so packed!
What do you talking about uneventful life = uneventful blog?

Fine...I'll show you

I love how summer-y this picture feels...

This is my favorite all time picture of Ariel of all time....

The picture of me and Ariel...yes I'm in this picture too...
Don't you just love how I lined up my lens with her pupil?

Well I don't care if you do...I do...

I felt bad after I took this picture. A dog had scared her and I was snapping pictures instead of comforting her...I'm a bad sister...but I'm an artist and after being locked away from civilization for 5 months I was fueled by this emotion....

I miss having people to take pictures of...the hubs doesn't do photoshoots...I don't either anymore

That's something new. My recent tests for my thyroid. I just finished up an ultrasound today. I didn't hear anything though. I'm sure (hopefully) I'll hear something later this week. Until then I've kept my mind busy with other things since I'm not allowed to stress anymore.

Did you know that was bad for you? I mean my mother told me it was bad for her but seriously I'm invincible...

As if

I've recently gotten addicted to this new show called Pretty Little Liars. Addicted not obsessed...so I bought the books. I figured it would give me something to do while the show isn't on.

 I got them three days ago and I'm on book 3. I hate teenage drama but this stuff is backstabbing good.

Plus it's in a book got going down in my front yard or at the fairgrounds.

Do you ever catch yourself reading or watching something and gasp when something happens?
See I get so caught up in it that my brain doesn't register that I formulated the exact turnout 15 mins ago. I just blame it on the music or the authors ability to write. Good job.

That's why I think that The Twilight Saga is a good series but that the movies are stupid. It's how it's written not that I'm in love with Edward and want to marry him. I'm cold enough on my own I don't need to snuggle up next to a vampire at night. I don't like people watching me sleep so that would bug me seeing as he is permanently awake and stuff.

Eerie much?

Well I pretty much have writer's block...

I know that for this to be a proper entry I need to have a closing statement but this isn't English class...


As if

Oh! Where Is My Hairbrush?

No...

Seriously...

Where is it?

Oh wait...I just found it.

I really had lost it though. I just looked to my left and there it was. Laying on my living room end table. That's not where it goes. Must be why I lost it.

So do you remember when I was all excited because I didn't have house guests and I was finally alone and didn't have to entertain?
Come on seriously? That was my last post! How soon you all forget.
Well let me refresh your memory.
I was all excited because I didn't have house guests and I was finally alone and didn't have to entertain.

Remember now? Hehe I thought so...
Well now that I'm home from, well, for lack of a better word...home and my friend has gone back home. To her home not my other home. I was alone for a couple days and then one of my husband's friends came to stay. So we have another house guest!
I'm sorry I'm not that excited about it. Let me try that again

*clears throat* So we have another house guest...
Anyways it was always my understanding that men like to eat. They like to eat home cooked meals. Men sometimes need women to cook home cooked meals. That's what I'm known for here. My cookies, cakes, pies, casseroles. You name it I make it.

Guys come over here and expect me to cook. But our present houseguest buys microwaveable food at the store emerges from the guest room to heat it up and then goes back and locks himself in his room all day.

I know I complained about having to entertain for 2 weeks but I really don't like it when people don't need me. Of course I understand this man has lived alone for 2 years and isn't used to people caring for him but for real if you ever stay in my house. Let me take care of you. Don't demand it or expect it. BUT LET ME DO IT!


My husband needs me or he does a really good job of pretending. No he doesn't need me he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself but he makes me feel needed. His friends eat my food and tell me it's yummy and to make it again. Still feeling needed.

But this man is so self reliant I feel I could lock myself in my room and he wouldn't say a word!

On a side note my dog's breath smells like pretzels and with paws scented like Fritos. I should have called him snack time.

My puppy needs me. To feed him and bathe him and take him to the vet and put him to bed and teach him to sit up on his hind legs and go potty outside and to buy him stupid squeaky duck toys that terrify him. I'm that kind of needed.

Well if I'm not needed here then I will go and take a bubble bath and listen to Ke$ha and read my book and look at catalogs...because I need to do that.

It's Been A Hard Day's Night

      I can't say that I've been working like a dog but I definitely have NOT been just sitting around doing nothing.

      I spent one entire week packing, cleaning, and preparing to visit my family 600+ miles away. Which meant that the hubby was left home alone for a week. No big deal he worked everyday but two and when he wasn't working I knew he would be sleeping.

      Then I got on the plane with my motion sick puppy in tow. Had a hell week like I was being inducted to a sorority. Which so would not have been worth it. I would have quit but since this week to finish changing my name so I could share it with my husband. I would say by the end, it was well worth it.

Because it's shorter here is a time lined summary of my adventures with the DMV.

Tuesday - Went to DMV, told that my license was canceled because I didn't take a class when I was 16. Almost 4 years ago.
Given a number to call.
Called that number, no answer, called the school where this class was supposed to be, told me to come with the letter sent to me. I didn't have a letter. They didn't know how to help me.
Called the other number got an answer. This lady had no clue how to help me took my number to give to someone else to call me.
Waited for call.
Ate lunch.
Got the call.
Told me that because I'm not 21 I must take the class.
The class is 4 hours long and I don't even live in this state anymore....geez
Angry. angry. angry.
Sleep.

Wednesday- Woke up and did some stuff.
Waited around all day to take this class from 5pm - 9pm.
SUCK
STUCK In there with fourteen 16 yr old kids. Sat alone because highschoolers...are annoying. sorry guys but you are.
Finished the class. Geez it was boring. I knew all the answers though. Woot
Are we surprised? I think not.

Thursday- went to DMV, because I'm done with the class.
Was told that I can't get it still because the Department of Transportation doesn't have me taking the class on file yet.
Called the department several times to tell them the paper they needed is sitting in the fax machine they just need to click a button...
No answer
GOVERNMENT
I would like to now add that I leave Saturday morning...

Friday- I come back to the DMV. The people had done their job!
I take my picture. I go home. It's about bloody time

Get back on the plane with the motion sick puppy in tow. And the BFF for a week

When I get home I find my refrigerator full of beer and molding food. So I clean it out.

I haven't been to the grocery in a month. We've been living off of random things like cereal, slim fast, veggie trays, and cheese. It's been grand fun. to this day. No grocery trip. I need to get on that.

The friend stayed a week. We had parties. So people brought alcohol. No driving under the influence. So people sleeping in my living room. No I can't buy groceries because of the lack of space in my fridge and freezer. Due to the amount of space bottles takes up. I officially need a bar.

Plus I get really sunburned and it is grand news that just today. Three days later. I can move. Now there is no one in my house I haven't been alone in weeks. Now what do I do?

With no food and NO noise?

Where oh where is my book?

Female Understanding

So I'm convinced that men have quit writing the "girly" product commercials these days.

I can't get over the new Kotex ads. I don't use Kotex nor will I start but I do find grand humor in them. Especially this one.




Man, oh man! Did I about have an aneurysm when I first saw it on television. I saw another commercial (yet another funny one) while waiting for ABDC (America's Best Dance Crew) to come on MTV which is about the only show I watch on MTV anymore. Except 16 & Pregnant. I don't know why I watch that one. I just like it I guess. It's interesting for me to see how these girls handle those situations I can't wait to see the girl that has twins...hmmm. I hope that this teen pregnancy thing is over and done with by the time my children are grown. I can't imagine my kids sitting an watching 11 and Pregnant. Let's be serious.

I wish growing up wasn't so cool...actually it isn't that cool. But you never find that out until you are already here and you can't go back. It has it's moments. But those moments are not balancing the checkbook, cleaning out the refrigerator, or paying the bills. I know you are all shocked. I am too even as I typed that sentence.

Let me just add my puppy is freakishly adorable.

I mean this is him sleeping under my computer desk. I have like 1000 pictures of him I'm sure.

This is him on the way to the beach the other day. He looks so cute with his ears pushed back, he doesn't believe me. Will you tell him he look cute with his ears pushed back?

So you are only seeing three of the 20 pictures I took on the way to the beach. But this is him protesting me telling him to look at me

He got carsick twice on the way there so on the way back he slept...on the hump...for some reason he loves the hump instead of the nice, safe bucket seats...

Alright I lied 4 of 20. But seriously who wouldn't share this cute face?

Haha this cracked me up when we first got him. He sleeps with his tongue hanging out. But it's kinda sad he's probably thinking about his Mommy =[

Our dog is cute...no joke and so contemplative...in the sunlight

With the paw over the nose...precious

What Mom? I keepin your pillow warm

"Look lady I don't know you all that well but you are weird and you point that shiny box at me a lot..but you pet me and give me noms, I like you"

He was so little and he loves being covered up. We don't know why. Or why he sleeps on his back for that matter or rubs up against us like a cat...we call him CatDog

Within the first couple days of bringing him home. Trying to figure out the the black box...

For those of you who aren't as interested in my dog as I am. I'm sorry, he's adorable.

For those wondering along with Bogart what the black box is, it's a camera.

It's time for the last walk of the evening, peanut butter, kong, and the Nanny.

Change Isn't Always A Bad Thing

Don't worry. I'm not going to blog about Obama...Well since I mentioned him he is officially blogged about. But not anymore.

So thanks to my mother I have recently started following The Pioneer Woman's blog. Her blog is everything I aspire mine to be. She is funny and entertaining, has a beautiful home, a beautiful family, and great ideas! She likes photography, loves her husband and is dedicated to what she does.

I was browsing her blog today and came across her home and garden section (That's not entirely true I knew it was there but I took a closer look this time.) Looking around inspired me to become more of an interior designer. Not saying that this is what I am going to do for a career I am indeed far from saying that but I have decided to take advantage of my creativity, endless amount of time at home, and my independent nature to spiff up the rinky dink apartment with plain white walls and dirty blue carpet, ugly green leather couches and newlywed mis matched furniture. So now begins my journey of Feng Shui-ing my home and tying the whole mismatch together.

So it all began with rearranging the bedroom. I don't know why it started there no one sees this room but me and the hubby and the dog

 
(whom I think was starting to judge the messiness of it, seeing as now that it's all clean he passed out).

I think the bedroom will be travel themed. We have pictures of the Eiffel Tower and the Colosseum on the wall,

     

a dragon and tiger tapestry,

a model of a ship on the tv

and statues of a bride and groom from Taiwan (I believe) on the dresser

and some...distressed trunks for end tables next to our bed. I think the theme just fits. So it's late now...4 hours before the hubby gets home. So I'm adding the pictures and then reading my book because for some reason I'm overcome with insomnia...great

 Well I can talk about this jewelry box that belonged to my grandmother. I remember spending days upon days at her house. Helping her in the garden, rolling her hair in the wire and bristle rollers that were held in your hair with plastic pins that stuck through the roller, playing shuffleboard in her garage, going on walks through the neighborhood and collecting stupid things like plain gravel and dead pine needles and then opening the box of the chest everytime I was over there to see my latest addition from our last walk, dressing up in her clothes, wearing the jewelry she kept in this very box.

 I could go on and on. April 1st will 4 years now and everytime I think about her I can't help but get emotional. How she never met my husband, how she missed my wedding, how I didn't get to see her before she passed.

So I cleaned up and rearranged everything. I'm not sure if I will keep it this way but the hubby says he likes it. That's based off pictures I'm sure he'll wake me up at 5 in the morning to tell me he hates it and to put it back immediately. Oh snap! I should have taken a before picture but that mess was a tad scary...way scary.

You wanna see what's on my bedside table? Now that I've cleaned it off? The must haves are left.
Bedside lamp, tv remote, fan remote, iPhone, SoftLips, keys, book, and laptop. From which right now I am typing.

My ultra adorable phone case. Sugar cookie scented  (and somewhat flavored) SoftLips. Let's just say my lips are soft.

This book truly is a good one. It's targeted for 9-12 yr olds and it's not really an action novel or mystery of suspense. But I wouldn't say it's bad as of now. The chapters are longer than chapters usually are.

 Oh dear! I almost forgot about this cute little ornate penguin. My husband bought it for me when he was visiting TX. We have a thing for penguins. Penguins mate for life and stay together so we are each others penguins. This little guy holds my wedding band every night.

Ok. Now Bogart says it's time for bed he's tired, I'm tired, we're all tired. I'm sure you're tired unless you are reading this at a later date and time and then if you are tired it's merely by chance.

Man, Stupid Writer's Block

I insist on posting everyday. Wow. This is like a diary now and I'm sure not everyone (if anyone) really cares what I do everyday or what's on my mind.

But I have a question for you...if you didn't care...why are you reading this? Congratulations are in order. I just talked myself out of blogging and then completely talked myself back into it.

I'm sitting here wishing I could post some cool pictures but my flash isn't working because the batteries for it are dead and they can't charge without the battery charger that I left at my parent's house 650+ miles away =[ It makes me sad. Because I love taking pictures. Like a lot. Maybe I'll go drag up some old ones and photoshop them. Ha!

No I won't because all my good pictures are on my gumdrop laptop and I'm on the hubby's...because its bigger and better than my rinky dink one. Which isn't saying much seeing as I am convinced all electronics have it in for me. Cell phones, laptops, can openers, microwaves, mp3 players...even my iPhone is plotting it revenge because I own it. *sniff sniff* They don't like me...

Let me go on what my sister The Babbling Blonde wrote in her Unlike My Sister post. She likes to write I like to read and just like my taste in music which is vast and highly surprising so is my taste in books. Granted I normally like to stay in the mystery/suspense category I often find something that looks interesting and sounds it too. It's really easy to judge a book by it's cover. But the only reason I ever read the Twilight series was because New Moon had a nice cover. Because of the passion for photography judging by covers is easier for me. Another reason I am only buying Agatha Christie books that are published by a specific company...I like the covers.

See aren't they great?

My point is that even though I am a young woman of 19 (20 in 130 days) and my reading and comprehansion level has always been high above average. Last year sometime I ran across a book (which is now a series of books) called The Mysterious Benedict Society.

Which even though I'm only into the second chapter (the first chapter was a measly 30 pages long) I have found it very entertaining. I think mostly because I read the back and I know the sort of adventure that the characters in the book are supposed to get into and it's a puzzle book. On the back cover there is morse code line that you have to (well not necessary but intriguing) decode. Apparently there are puzzles throughout the entire book.

I haven't gotten that far but I'll keep you posted...no pun intended.

I'll go get that far

Later Days

From The Mixed Up Files

So maybe eventually I will have a complete thought process. I won't hold my breath and I don't expect you to either. But here is a continuation of my Easter Rice Krispie Treats. Which even after these pictures...are still not done. Ohhh but they will be.
Actually the only reason they aren't done today is mostly because I didn't have the stuff to finish them. But once I hit the grocery store I most definitely will have them complete.

So after I mixed them and let them cool a little - a little - I put the mixture in a container and set it in the fridge overnight then I took it out and did this with it...


Cut it into a couple squares to make it easier to work with.





Press it into large Easter eggs (molded it in to make sure it got that shape)

Filled the eggs until they could barely close. I had to force them closed...

But they closed

Then I opened them...look how pretty!

Fruity Pebble Eggs!

Adorable! Super Cute!

The next step is to dip half of them in white chocolate and spring them upon the innocent people who come into our house. I've done a good job at doing that so far. Already have people requesting I make food for them.

Haha which reminds me of a story. (That would be the "Adorable! Super Cute!" part and not the "dip half of them into white chocolate" part although the main character of my story looks like he was dipped in white chocolate). Not really a story but we'll see how long it goes.
So people always says that having a puppy is like having a baby. You have to do everything for it. Feed it, wash it, take it to the doctor, potty train it...EVERYTHING. I've been doing everything for little 3 month old Bogart. Teaching him where to potty, taking him to the vet when his tummy is upset, keeping him updated on his shots and just plain ole loving him!

Did I mention I've never had a dog before? I've been around them, sure, but I've never owned one. So I was unaware that dogs could burp or anything like that. Bogart knows he is my baby too. He willingly lets me hold him like one. Usually because I'll put him down after that. But when I put him to bed just like a baby he needs his bottle or his pacifier. The Kong that we have for him is used as a pacifier but because he is so small I call it his bottle the way he holds it.


It's just so cute. I couldn't catch him using it with two paws but he does do it. His little Kong is filled with peanut butter and he flips out when I get it out of the freezer. But he licks it and then goes to sleep.

That was long enough. So I wrote that we took the P90X fit test and that I passed. Not with flying colors but I passed. I have been feeling that triumph for 2 days now. My shoulders are killing me. But in the process of my shoulders killing me I also realized something else...it physically hurts me to sit in front of the computer all day. Especially since I've been exercising. My shoulders and back just don't allow it. Which is why I don't understand how some people do it. Also why it has taken me like 4 hours to put this blog together and post it.

But it's not posted yet so it may take longer. However if you are reading this right now, it's probably posted...unless....you are a computer hacker monitoring my key strokes...and if you are. Stop!

You can wait and read my blog just like the other 6 people who read it do. You, impatient hacker, you.

I have to post this or I will keep coming back and adding stuff to this post. It will be like an hour long. That's too much. If I decide to post I'll do it from my iPhone, in bed, and relaxing. I learned how to update my blog from my cellphone today.

Am I digitally connected or what?

America, This Is Why You're Fat.

So I we stayed up way too late last night to get up way too early.

We went and filed our taxes today. The husband thanked me because he had never seen such a return nor would he if he hadn't been married to little ole me!

A trip which should have taken 20 minutes took us an hour because our tax guy was freakin cool. He was telling us about the ways they spend their day. Looking at stupid pictures and reading outrageous articles and he was kind enough to share a few with us. the website he sent us to after we talked about Paula Deen Lady's Brunch Burger and the lovely sounding Sausage Pancakes that I read about on Elisabeth's page he shared this amazing website with me that I have craved and almost upchucked over in the last hour or so.

www.thisiswhyyourefat.com

We have come across numerous entries that I have decided I must share with you. But I didn't want to share them all because I thought I would leave something for you to do right now. So here are some I decided to enter...

Some "Why didn't we think of these ourselves?"

Oreo S'more

An Oreo cookie with chocolate and a marshmallow sandwiched between it. I like Oreo's and I like s'mores and I think I'm pretty sure I would like this!

Inside Out Spaghetti & Meatballs

A giant meatball stuffed with spaghetti, marinara sauce and ricotta cheese

Doughnut Upside Down Cake

A bed of brown sugar and butter topped by a layer of 12 mini doughnuts baked inside of cake mix and topped with heavy whipping cream and brown sugar.

The Morning Glory

Sausage, egg and cheese sandwiched inside a glazed cinnamon roll which strikingly resembles the Paula Deen Ladies Brunch Burger. Which looks like this


Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm TASTY





The CherPumPle Cake

This fattening looking attraction happens to be a base of pumpkin pie that is baked into a spice cake followed by an apple baked into a yellow cake topped off with cherry pie baked in the center of white all surrounded by cream cheese frosting.

Bagel Bite Burgers

Mini Hamburgers sandwiched between bagel bites.




And....

Some "I can't believe anyone ever thought of these ever!"

The Picnic Popsicle

Bacon cheeseburger chunks, ketchup, mustard and onion frozen in strawberry KoolAid.

Chubby Girl Scout

Bacon wrapped Samoa Girl Scout cookies deep-fried and topped with maple syrup and powdered sugar.

The Bacon-copia

Bacon horn stuffed with 20 hot Italian sausages, 1 pound of scrapple, 4 pork chops, 1 black pudding sausage and 1 white pudding sausage, pepperoni and salami.



The Meta Meat Cake

Four types of sausage, bratwurst, chorizo, ground beef, ground pork, diced ham, Canadian bacon, pepperoni, hickory smoked bacon, hot cappy, queso blanco, provolone and sharp cheddar, wrapped in sausage, bacon and cheese ball dough and baked. Then decorated with American, cheddar squeeze cheese and bacon strips.

The Dr. Phil

One double-wrapped Chipotle burrito filled with rice, pinto beans, chicken, fresh tomato salsa, corn, sour cream, cheese, lettuce, and guacamole, wrapped inside of a cheese pizza topped with more fresh tomato salsa, corn chips, curly fries, and jalapeno bites, garnished with two sticks of chocolate and almond pocky.

These last two took the cake...the cookies, the bagel, the healthy pizza, the salad and everything else I have eaten in the past 24 hours. I was so disgusted by these. But what is more wretched is that somewhere out there...someone ENJOYS this.