It's Been A Long Time Since I Came Around

I have been thinking for awhile how to get back into this. I hate to inform you that I am just going to have to do it as it comes to me. I may have anxiety and be OCD but I just can't schedule the pure genius that comes from this mind of mine.

I'm pretty sure a large number of people are on Pinterest. If you aren't...I understand it's not for everyone. But I'm not everyone. I'm me. It's for me.

I have always been a quote junkie. I have notebooks now that I am trying to compile into one leather bound book that I pretend someone will find some day and be inspired by but I highly doubt it.

Not the point.

Point.

I find inspiration in almost everything I come across. Some small thing always inspires something. Not always grand and big. Sometimes it's just what color to paint my nails or what to have for lunch.

But this particular one I am about to list has been particularly thought provoking.

"I think it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person."

Oscar Wilde said that.

At one point in my life I can say that I could honestly believe that and wrap my head around what it meant. I have read that quote at least 49 other times in this life.

But for whatever reason this 50th time it struck a chord and is now playing this very confusing melody.

I will be the first to admit that I do not enjoy being around people. I think the more people that are together the less they think properly and I definitely can NOT handle people who are, for lack of a better word, idiots.

But how do you define the difference between being alone and being lonely. When does one turn into the other? When is the amount of time we spend alone enough?

Plus aren't the things that we love and put our hearts and minds and souls into something that defines us?

Or maybe Wilde was saying that we shouldn't let other people define us. Not that our love for those people can't be defining of us but that we shouldn't let other people tell us who we are.

Is it saying "You define me because I love you" or is it "I love you because you define me"

I have literally retyped that previous sentence 5 times and I am still not sure if it makes sense or not. See it doesn't even make sense to me and it is coming out of my head!

What if being surrounded by people is what defines them?

What defines someone who doesn't enjoy people? Can they be lonely?

Let's go this route instead.

I imagine that Wilde meant that you need to spend time alone and learn who you are. In your own mind. Your own ways. So that when you aren't alone you can't be defined by what others want you to be or THINK you should be.

When is being alone too much? When does it stop being a defining moment?