Project 365-Day 5

My dog is species confused.

I swear he thinks he's a cat.

He sleeps on his back like cats do.
On the backs of couches.
Curls up behind your neck.
Rubs up against you.
Folds his paws up underneath him when he lays down.
And sleeps
17 hours a day.

 

And he sits in the window sills and on the arms of couches.

What a freak. 

I must the funniest thing is when he realizes that he isn't a cat and gets stuck and can't turn around because he isn't that agile. He will misstep and end stuck between the couch and the window.

I don't know what I would do without my CatDog though. He's my favorite =] 

He is almost 2 years old. We always joke that he was born to be our dog because he was born on December 23rd and we got married the 31st. 

He was truly love at first sight. When we saw this picture (sorry you are getting two today) we immediately fell in love with him.

How cute is he?

I miss baby Bogart sometimes. Then he sits in the window and I know that "baby" is still in there.

Project 365-Day 4

Today hit me hard.

Way hard. I love talking to my husband, don't get me wrong but I love the part of our relationship where we didn't have to talk to each other and we could just be with each other. I feel sorry for him. He missed all birthdays and holidays last year because of work and he is missing them all again. It's unfair to him. It's unfair to every man and woman that miss it because being in the military puts them overseas or on work schedules with ridiculous hours.

I could go on about stuff like this for hours and hours and even days.

It breaks my heart to have him away from me. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do which really isn't surprising to me. I honestly thought I could make it the first coupe of months without being really upset. I'm used to him being away for several months at a time but this whole 8 hours time difference and no schedule yet thing is killing me. I never know when I get to talk to him or even if I do. I live by the phone or the computer. I hate living that way. I don't like not knowing what is going on with him. It makes me anxious.

On top of that in church today they showed a video of a soldier who had been gone for 6 months and they were interviewing his daughter and she was almost in tears saying that he had missed Valentine's Day and Easter and her brother's birthday and he was about to miss hers and she just felt like her dad had been gone forever. It was  a surprise homecoming video. He was home for his 2 week R&R and she had no idea he was coming home. I was crying so hard. those videos were always hard for me to watch but they got 10x harder when you're husband is in the military and 20x harder when he is deployed.

Setting all that to the side I love him. I will always love him. I am waiting for him. I will always wait for him. No matter how hard it may be. I may cry everyday. There may even be days I don't want to get out of bed. He is my heart and my soul and I will do my best to be whatever he needs me to be.

That leads us to the picture for today. Because the dog and I were having a similar conversation while laying in the hallway. Of course he didn't understand....so I called him a cootie queen.

He still doesn't understand. But he knows Daddy is gone...because he is misbehaving. If I have to pick up one more piece of shredded paper off the floor I might scream.

No.

I will.

I will scream.

Project 365-Day 3

I totally should have pulled myself out of bed to post last night but I didn't want to...

So to bring about yesterday's picture. We spent my birthday in Nashville. It was nice to spend a little time alone before he left. It was also nice to be somewhere other than my small town which I so dearly despise. So we went out on my birthday to the Hard Rock cafe for lunch and a drink =] I would have loved replicate that one but there was no way that was happening there was way to much alcohol in it. But it tasted good =] It was called Pink Lady Punch or something like that. But a couple nights later we went to Logan's Roadhouse and I got this drink with strawberries floating in it. I have no idea what it was called but essentially it was Captain Morgan, Ginger Ale and strawberries! It was to die for. So simple too. So last night I had Cruzan rum, ginger Ale, and strawberries and a float of grenadine. Super yummy and I served it in a chilled mason jar.

 

Then I just poured in more ginger ale and drank it.

Other than that I didn't really do anything yesterday. except place an order on Bath and Body Works. That store is super addicting. Lots of stores are but I got an amazing discount I saved almost $20 plus free shipping. It was a frugal splurge =] 

I really hope today will be more interesting. I think I actually bore myself sometimes.

Project 365-Day 2

Today wasn't so bad it passed a little faster than yesterday but I had lots of errands to run and his phone call caught me off guard so it was a pleasant break in the day. I'll be glad when we are on some sort of schedule. The puppy is still having a hard time with him being gone. Always needing someones lap to sit in or following me around. Whining....a LOT!

I'm trying to use the iPad but he has stuck his big head in the way. He just wants to be loved! He's killing me.

Well I am beat and I'm going to tr to sleep tonight it hasn't been working out so well the past couple of nights.

So until tomorrow. Only tomorrow.

Project 365-Day 1

I am starting this with 3 people in mind. I want something to keep me busy and give me something to do everyday. I also wanted to start something for my husband and my aunt who can't be with our family this year and would love daily updates even if they can't get to them. So here it begins on Day 1. Although today isn't really Day 1 for either of them. My aunt has been gone for a while and my husband left on the 9th so yesterday was our first day without each other. Today hasn't gotten any better though.. But I'm not trying to focus on that I'm trying to focus on getting through this year. So with all of that being said. Here is Day 1.

My poor puppy. He lays in the bag my husbands clothes came out of any chance he gets. It's stupid that this tears at my heartstrings right now. I know he misses him though. He cries and looks for him and is very clingy right now. Which I don't mind having someone to cuddle with all day.

I'm off to busy myself. I think I might go on a walk or do some yoga. Let's get this year done.

Struggling

So much has happened since I posted in February.



We moved because the hubby was getting stationed over seas. Which is not so grand in my eyes but they need him over there.



Ok so that was pretty much it.



I mean other than him going to training schools for May and June and being home the entire month of July, that really is all that happened. I've been keeping busy with that alone. We are took a little mini vacation before he headed over for a year.



I can honestly say that him being gone for a year is going to be hard of course. It was hard when we were separated for the 2Nd year of our entire relationship but we have only spent half the time we have been together, well, together. We started dating in the beginning of 2008 and he left in 2009 (all year) we got married the last day of 2009 which is funny because we started dating the first day of 2008. We were married all year of 2010 and got to live together until well now technically but he left in May and June so I say until April of 2011. Now he is leaving until August or September of 2012.



But setting all that aside the hardest part will be that he isn't allowed internet or phone calls or mail for 3 months while he is out to sea. He is out to sea for three months and then back for one month and then out for three months again for a whole year!



So for three months I can email and write letters all I want but I can't see his face or hear his voice or even get a letter back. I get to talk to myself, have a one-sided conversation.

I honestly thought that I would be able to stand strong for a couple months at least but this last 24 hours has been taxing to say the least. I don't know when I will be able to talk to him again. I mean aside from the fact that I dropped him off at 11:30am at the airport yesterday and he still won't land until 10 pm tonight and who knows when he will be able to get to a means of communication because when he gets there his day is just starting.

I wish there could be a happier note to today but I can't find one.

The happiest note I have is what I told him at 3 this morning.

It is hard to exist without you. I truly understand the meaning of two people becoming one. One soul coexisting in two bodies. It doesn't break but it hurts to be stretched this far for so long. But I don't have to tell you this because you already know. I love you. I don't say this because I think you forgot I say it so everyone else remembers.

This next year won't be easy. The entire year will be a prayer and Amen will be said when I see him step off that plane again. But i will try and be strong for him and for myself.

I'm thinking of starting that project 365 so he can see a picture everyday so he won't feel so disconnected. We will see how today goes. I'm just ready to talk to him...

I Wait For No Man

I can sit here at 4:32am on Valentine's Day and say that 5 years ago I would have said that I would never be a military wife because I will not sit around and wait for a man that's always gone. I can sit here and say that because it's true.

I never in my 20 years thought that I would be the type of girl to not only wait for a man, but to have it on my daily list of things to-do to get by.

I have never waited for a man.
I didn't sit by the phone and await a call, I lived my life.
I didn't wait for them to get their act together, I moved on. 
I didn't wait for them to grow up, I did a little more maturing myself and said goodbye.

It never crossed my mind that this 6'7" brown hair, blue eyed boy (term used incredibly loosely, he is most definitely a man in my eyes) would steal my heart away and have me waiting for years. He kept me waiting too.

I waited for his texts in the morning.
I waited for his texts every minute.
I waited for his lunch breaks.
I waited to until the store died down so I could walk up to it and see him.
I waited for him to get off work every night so we could spend a couple of hours together.
I waited for him to shower and change clothes and pick me up.

But the waiting got longer after that.


I waited 6 months for him to ask me out.
I waited 9 months for him to say he loved me.
I waited for 2 months just to be able to see his face.
I waited weeks at a time just to hear his voice.
I waited for the mailman everyday in hopes of a letter written in his almost illegible scrawl.
I waited anxiously at the airport every time just to run and hug him.
I waited 10 months for him to ask me to marry him.
I waited 10+ hours while he drove up to see me for one day to turn around and drive back.
I waited a year until we could be together.

I sit at home almost everyday and wait for him to come home.
Just so I can tell him I love him before he goes to sleep.

We've been married for 1 year, 1 month and 14 days and I can't see myself waiting for anyone else.

He tests my patience, he tests my love, he tests my friendship, and he tests my strength.
I strive to pass everyday.

He is one of the best husbands a woman could ask for. I am extremely lucky to have him because I didn't even ask for him. I wasn't even looking him. He was standing on the side lines telling me how a woman should be treated.

How I should be treated.

So when that wasn't sufficient he jumped in and showed me and it's been all uphill from there.

I can't say downhill because that's bad or easy. It hasn't been easy.
I can't say smooth sailing because I am definitely one to rock the boat and we have hit some rough waters.

Uphill is befitting. We are moving toward a high goal and though it's been hard and we've had to push we are still moving in that same direction. The direction we started in.

So though I was never one to wait...
Things change.
People change.
I changed.
I realized that this man was worth the wait and no other was.

Of All to Come

So I arrived back at my own home today after a week of vacation. I have so much to document. My anniversary was Friday and we went to Universal for three days. But spent a week in Orlando, FL and even got to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

I'm going to recover tonight from all the walking and pushing and unpack and upload pictures and love on the puppy but I hope to post pictures soon.

you know it's a good vacation when you have to recuperate.

Don't ever vacation on the holidays. Unless you REALLY like people!