Because that's the kinda girl I am

Feng shui is a hard art to master.

My husband just rearranged my living room for the 2nd time in a month...if even that much. I think we rearranged it right before Thanksgiving =]

But he did it willingly because he loves me and I made him...because...well...revert to the title.

So I've thought about starting "Project 365" at the beginning of 2011. Post a picture everyday and write a post. That'll be right after my exercising and therapy sessions for cynicism and jadism.(Jadism is not a word by the way)

I don't know if I'm happy about the living room now even. I think I've outgrown an apartment. At least this ridiculously laid out one. If I could knock out a couple walls it wouldn't be so bad. I need to post some pictures once I get it decorated for Christmas I will.

This is a very short post but I am going to spend time with my husband decorating and watching Christmas movies. Maybe settle in with some hot chocolate. Sounds like a plan.

I'll be back real soon.

But not tonight. So don't wait around...

As it has been forever...

I figured it was past due for a post even though I don't have deadlines like some of you do.

That is just so restricting. In all honestly this is the 3rd post I have started in the past couple of weeks. Well 4th if you count the one I started on vacation but I don't actually remember posting that one. But I know I posted a couple weeks ago. I just don't know what to blog about.

So right now we are smack in the middle of two major US holidays. Holidays were not created for people in the military. My husband worked 80 hours in 5 days starting with Thanksgiving when he was supposed to be home entertaining all the people I didn't know. Which was 8 of 10 people at my house. Thanksgiving = awkward. I only saw my husband 10 hours in almost week. He was back at work yesterday after only 1 day off.

If I've never mentioned it before I'll mention it now. I hate being alone all the time. I mean when I lived at home there was always someone around but now I spend all day with a napping dog, Jessica Fletcher and the residents of Cabot Cove, and the ominous noises outside my windows that I probably make up half the time.

Ominous might a little strong of an adjective but you can't take that from me right now.

But about the holidays...I spent four days cooking for Thanksgiving and I'm going to have to spend all 25 days preparing for Christmas seeing as I've kind of been a Scrooge. I mean I put the tree up but I have definitely been procrastinating on decorating it.

It's really hard for me not to be a scrooge. I've sat at home every holiday and birthday (his and mine), alone. That's not enjoyable and other people enjoy their time but I don't get to. Which is what upsets me. When people tell me that I shouldn't be so gloomy or I should be glad that he comes home every night. Do they not understand that when he comes home it's 5 in the morning and we got to bed and sleep for 8-10 hours and then we get up and he has to be at work at 3pm. I am happy that he isn't deployed, trust me,I'm thrilled but it's hard to find delight in that fact when he is 15 mins down the road staring at a wall. No exaggeration there. Maybe a generalized one. Sometimes....he stares at water. Woo

So my New Year's resolution is going to be to get 30 minutes of serious movement in a day and to not be so cynical and jaded. But I don't even have confidence that I can achieve the latter.

I wish I had something funny and witty to say but in all honestly other people fuel my ability to be witty. Usually. They are my muse.

No.

Stupidity is my muse.

This is the end.

Inner Turmoil

I find emotions hard to nail down right now. I mean I can tell you what emotions I'm feeling but I couldn't nail down which one I feel stronger. Like the feeling to be happy for someone or angry at their luck. I am happy for this person but I'm also upset because they are getting what I busted my butt to get just to have it slip away from me all the while they are effortlessly being granted every wish. I'm not comparing my wishes tho their wishes either. Like I want a new car and they want a new dress. No I mean equal wishes. A car for a car. A pair of shoes for a pair of shoes. I think I just got a really freakin lazy fairy godmother. I would ask to trade it in but I see it's pointless now. Is it horrible that I feel that way? ...No because I don't feel that way. I see it that way but my feelings are hurt and they don't want to even accommodate the thought that this is it and it's all I'm ever going to get. So if you read this, don't pray that I get what I want I'm going after that myself, pray that I find an inner peace and happiness that I can pull to the surface and use to be the person I need to be in these situations. 

Because being "fair" is only a skin tone now.

I would say I haven't blogged because I haven't had time. But we all know that would be a lie.

Why is it that when you get stuff put together something comes along and messes it up? I don't really need the question answered. I already know the answer. It's not a question I like answering.

More like it's not the question I mind answering...it's the answer I know is right and I would be more mature to answer it honestly. But being mature and adult like is so...unfair sometimes.

Like when you go on vacation and you either don't have a good time or you have a fabulous time and then when you get home things with work and bills and the house are messed up to the nth power.

Vacation- that was a time I was both looking forward to and at the same time not. Spastic Sarcastic is an appropriate title most of the time. I am very sarcastic and often spastic with my sarcasm. I also am not one to hold my tongue. If I think someone needs to hear something I'm going to be the one to tell them. I've realized over the years that it isn't always the best idea so I've tried harder to hold my tongue. Most of the time it works. Other times I just trick my brain by telling Person B what I would really like to tell Person A and then after I say it all and step back I realize it was better that I didn't say it to Person A in the first place. Although I still think they need to hear it.

Most people don't care about your opinion. Like they say "80% of people don't care about your problems and the other 20% are just glad you have them"

I've noticed these past few months that have of my life mottos are very pessimistic.

"If it wasn't this, it would be something else."
It's fabulous outlook to have on life....don't you think?

For instance, right now I'm wide awake on two hours of sleep after I sat up until 5 in the morning to go to bed with my husband and he is laying in bed sleeping soundly and I've been up for 4 hours watching House!

Don't get me wrong I love House. I would also rather be insomniatic than left awake with severe back pain or an ear infection or stomach pains that run me to the bathroom every hour.

I also don't understand why I have a whole six foot couch and my dog decided he has to sit on the very same cushion I am sitting on.

Why do I have a queen size bed and does my dog still try to sleep between my legs or constantly pressed up against me. I know for a fact I'm not the warmest one in the bed and I don't even lay still the longest.

He is so weird!

But he's so cute!

Well I have a list of things to do....including make a list. at the top of it is rudely awaken my husband because Misery loves company and he's officially slept longer than me.

Hello? Is There Anybody In There?

Just smile if you can hear me
Ok good.

I see that I haven't posted in awhile. But an uneventful life makes for an uneventful blog.
I can't get my flash to work so I haven't been taking as many pictures. 

I did however make these pleasing to the eye and the palette strawberry shortcakes.
Don't those just look so yummy? My OCD makes them that way...that and the strawberries were perfectly ripe!

Am I right?

I don't take a lot of pictures because I don't have subjects really. I have a dog and you can only take so many pictures of him. I will however admit that he gets cuter each time I snap one though.

I did do a photoshoot with my sisters when  was back home. Which was a blast! I got some good shots too.
You want me to share them with you?

I don't know my schedule is so packed!
What do you talking about uneventful life = uneventful blog?

Fine...I'll show you

I love how summer-y this picture feels...

This is my favorite all time picture of Ariel of all time....

The picture of me and Ariel...yes I'm in this picture too...
Don't you just love how I lined up my lens with her pupil?

Well I don't care if you do...I do...

I felt bad after I took this picture. A dog had scared her and I was snapping pictures instead of comforting her...I'm a bad sister...but I'm an artist and after being locked away from civilization for 5 months I was fueled by this emotion....

I miss having people to take pictures of...the hubs doesn't do photoshoots...I don't either anymore

That's something new. My recent tests for my thyroid. I just finished up an ultrasound today. I didn't hear anything though. I'm sure (hopefully) I'll hear something later this week. Until then I've kept my mind busy with other things since I'm not allowed to stress anymore.

Did you know that was bad for you? I mean my mother told me it was bad for her but seriously I'm invincible...

As if

I've recently gotten addicted to this new show called Pretty Little Liars. Addicted not obsessed...so I bought the books. I figured it would give me something to do while the show isn't on.

 I got them three days ago and I'm on book 3. I hate teenage drama but this stuff is backstabbing good.

Plus it's in a book got going down in my front yard or at the fairgrounds.

Do you ever catch yourself reading or watching something and gasp when something happens?
See I get so caught up in it that my brain doesn't register that I formulated the exact turnout 15 mins ago. I just blame it on the music or the authors ability to write. Good job.

That's why I think that The Twilight Saga is a good series but that the movies are stupid. It's how it's written not that I'm in love with Edward and want to marry him. I'm cold enough on my own I don't need to snuggle up next to a vampire at night. I don't like people watching me sleep so that would bug me seeing as he is permanently awake and stuff.

Eerie much?

Well I pretty much have writer's block...

I know that for this to be a proper entry I need to have a closing statement but this isn't English class...


As if

Oh! Where Is My Hairbrush?

No...

Seriously...

Where is it?

Oh wait...I just found it.

I really had lost it though. I just looked to my left and there it was. Laying on my living room end table. That's not where it goes. Must be why I lost it.

So do you remember when I was all excited because I didn't have house guests and I was finally alone and didn't have to entertain?
Come on seriously? That was my last post! How soon you all forget.
Well let me refresh your memory.
I was all excited because I didn't have house guests and I was finally alone and didn't have to entertain.

Remember now? Hehe I thought so...
Well now that I'm home from, well, for lack of a better word...home and my friend has gone back home. To her home not my other home. I was alone for a couple days and then one of my husband's friends came to stay. So we have another house guest!
I'm sorry I'm not that excited about it. Let me try that again

*clears throat* So we have another house guest...
Anyways it was always my understanding that men like to eat. They like to eat home cooked meals. Men sometimes need women to cook home cooked meals. That's what I'm known for here. My cookies, cakes, pies, casseroles. You name it I make it.

Guys come over here and expect me to cook. But our present houseguest buys microwaveable food at the store emerges from the guest room to heat it up and then goes back and locks himself in his room all day.

I know I complained about having to entertain for 2 weeks but I really don't like it when people don't need me. Of course I understand this man has lived alone for 2 years and isn't used to people caring for him but for real if you ever stay in my house. Let me take care of you. Don't demand it or expect it. BUT LET ME DO IT!


My husband needs me or he does a really good job of pretending. No he doesn't need me he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself but he makes me feel needed. His friends eat my food and tell me it's yummy and to make it again. Still feeling needed.

But this man is so self reliant I feel I could lock myself in my room and he wouldn't say a word!

On a side note my dog's breath smells like pretzels and with paws scented like Fritos. I should have called him snack time.

My puppy needs me. To feed him and bathe him and take him to the vet and put him to bed and teach him to sit up on his hind legs and go potty outside and to buy him stupid squeaky duck toys that terrify him. I'm that kind of needed.

Well if I'm not needed here then I will go and take a bubble bath and listen to Ke$ha and read my book and look at catalogs...because I need to do that.

It's Been A Hard Day's Night

      I can't say that I've been working like a dog but I definitely have NOT been just sitting around doing nothing.

      I spent one entire week packing, cleaning, and preparing to visit my family 600+ miles away. Which meant that the hubby was left home alone for a week. No big deal he worked everyday but two and when he wasn't working I knew he would be sleeping.

      Then I got on the plane with my motion sick puppy in tow. Had a hell week like I was being inducted to a sorority. Which so would not have been worth it. I would have quit but since this week to finish changing my name so I could share it with my husband. I would say by the end, it was well worth it.

Because it's shorter here is a time lined summary of my adventures with the DMV.

Tuesday - Went to DMV, told that my license was canceled because I didn't take a class when I was 16. Almost 4 years ago.
Given a number to call.
Called that number, no answer, called the school where this class was supposed to be, told me to come with the letter sent to me. I didn't have a letter. They didn't know how to help me.
Called the other number got an answer. This lady had no clue how to help me took my number to give to someone else to call me.
Waited for call.
Ate lunch.
Got the call.
Told me that because I'm not 21 I must take the class.
The class is 4 hours long and I don't even live in this state anymore....geez
Angry. angry. angry.
Sleep.

Wednesday- Woke up and did some stuff.
Waited around all day to take this class from 5pm - 9pm.
SUCK
STUCK In there with fourteen 16 yr old kids. Sat alone because highschoolers...are annoying. sorry guys but you are.
Finished the class. Geez it was boring. I knew all the answers though. Woot
Are we surprised? I think not.

Thursday- went to DMV, because I'm done with the class.
Was told that I can't get it still because the Department of Transportation doesn't have me taking the class on file yet.
Called the department several times to tell them the paper they needed is sitting in the fax machine they just need to click a button...
No answer
GOVERNMENT
I would like to now add that I leave Saturday morning...

Friday- I come back to the DMV. The people had done their job!
I take my picture. I go home. It's about bloody time

Get back on the plane with the motion sick puppy in tow. And the BFF for a week

When I get home I find my refrigerator full of beer and molding food. So I clean it out.

I haven't been to the grocery in a month. We've been living off of random things like cereal, slim fast, veggie trays, and cheese. It's been grand fun. to this day. No grocery trip. I need to get on that.

The friend stayed a week. We had parties. So people brought alcohol. No driving under the influence. So people sleeping in my living room. No I can't buy groceries because of the lack of space in my fridge and freezer. Due to the amount of space bottles takes up. I officially need a bar.

Plus I get really sunburned and it is grand news that just today. Three days later. I can move. Now there is no one in my house I haven't been alone in weeks. Now what do I do?

With no food and NO noise?

Where oh where is my book?

Female Understanding

So I'm convinced that men have quit writing the "girly" product commercials these days.

I can't get over the new Kotex ads. I don't use Kotex nor will I start but I do find grand humor in them. Especially this one.




Man, oh man! Did I about have an aneurysm when I first saw it on television. I saw another commercial (yet another funny one) while waiting for ABDC (America's Best Dance Crew) to come on MTV which is about the only show I watch on MTV anymore. Except 16 & Pregnant. I don't know why I watch that one. I just like it I guess. It's interesting for me to see how these girls handle those situations I can't wait to see the girl that has twins...hmmm. I hope that this teen pregnancy thing is over and done with by the time my children are grown. I can't imagine my kids sitting an watching 11 and Pregnant. Let's be serious.

I wish growing up wasn't so cool...actually it isn't that cool. But you never find that out until you are already here and you can't go back. It has it's moments. But those moments are not balancing the checkbook, cleaning out the refrigerator, or paying the bills. I know you are all shocked. I am too even as I typed that sentence.

Let me just add my puppy is freakishly adorable.

I mean this is him sleeping under my computer desk. I have like 1000 pictures of him I'm sure.

This is him on the way to the beach the other day. He looks so cute with his ears pushed back, he doesn't believe me. Will you tell him he look cute with his ears pushed back?

So you are only seeing three of the 20 pictures I took on the way to the beach. But this is him protesting me telling him to look at me

He got carsick twice on the way there so on the way back he slept...on the hump...for some reason he loves the hump instead of the nice, safe bucket seats...

Alright I lied 4 of 20. But seriously who wouldn't share this cute face?

Haha this cracked me up when we first got him. He sleeps with his tongue hanging out. But it's kinda sad he's probably thinking about his Mommy =[

Our dog is cute...no joke and so contemplative...in the sunlight

With the paw over the nose...precious

What Mom? I keepin your pillow warm

"Look lady I don't know you all that well but you are weird and you point that shiny box at me a lot..but you pet me and give me noms, I like you"

He was so little and he loves being covered up. We don't know why. Or why he sleeps on his back for that matter or rubs up against us like a cat...we call him CatDog

Within the first couple days of bringing him home. Trying to figure out the the black box...

For those of you who aren't as interested in my dog as I am. I'm sorry, he's adorable.

For those wondering along with Bogart what the black box is, it's a camera.

It's time for the last walk of the evening, peanut butter, kong, and the Nanny.